Happy happy joy joy

Oh how bright and sparkly!

I've got all the doors and windows open and there's a delightful breeze blowing through the house. There are book covers drying all over the place and I've washed up, put washing in the machine and generally been an all round good egg. Bathroom cleaning is next, after which I shall feel so damned virtuous that there'll be no stopping me.

Further to my experiments with making books from dictionary covers (see below), I'm doing another one at the moment and I've had a great idea for one for hub. He wants one but refuses to have one because they need to be sold. However, I have in my possession a newspaper from New York circa 2005 that we bought as a keepsake on our honeymoon. I shall pilfer a page from it and use it for a special book just for him. I think he'll love it. I did toy with the idea of a geeky one, but he's got heaps of that sort of thing, so this one will be really special.

There will be a trip outdoors today too. I told you I'm on a roll. We've got a Mother Hubbard situation going on here, so a shopping list must be written (in my Fiona T zombie book of course) and I shall bus it down to Asda in time to meet my beloved on his way home from work.

The postie ought to be bringing me a few delightful things today or tomorrow. I've done a couple more swaps with Folksy ladies for some awesome stuff. One is some cards (from Auntyjoan) and the other is a set of stickers (from hjdcrafts). I sent my little logo design to have printed on them and I very much look forward to applying them inside my book covers for that incredibly professional look. Hark at me being so very posh. Ideas above my station and all that. This is such a nice thing to do when you can't afford to treat yourself. I've sent little paintings in exchange.

To finish with, here's the latest dictionary book. It's got a mix of lined and plain paper inside and is about A6 size. I distressed and inked the cover papers and coated them with a couple of good layers of PVA for durability. I love the satin finish of PVA on paper, there's something so tactile about it. A real throwback to my uni days when I was never seen without an industrial sized tub of it on my desk. I washed a great dollop if it out of my hair yesterday. Just like the old days, " happy sigh".

Faffing About

Erm, how to say this?

I was mucking about with my settings earlier and thought, hey, I'll put my name in my blog title. So I did and I think I might have mucked it up. I fear I may now be invisible to the world. Not that the world would be any worse off of course, but you know what I mean.

If anyone who follows me can read this, would you do me a massive favour and leave a comment to let me know please?

I'll go and wait in the naughty corner.

Eyes, Flies and Freezers

Patting myself on the back here. I've been unusually domestic goddessy and done some stuff round the place. We got up this morning to a warm fridge, which is a result of a very poor design. Every time a bit of ice builds up in the back of the freezer it blocks the cold air vent that cools the fridge part. We got a chap out the first time it happened because we thought the damn thing had died. He showed us how to take it apart and get to the ice that can't be seen in the main freezer (it's totally frost free in that bit, so you'd have no idea what the problem is). So, I was in there at 7.30am with screwdriver, bits all over the floor and two hairdryers blasting at it. All done and reassembled by just after 8am.

Since I was on a roll I decided to do all the dishes and mop the floors. We have a ridiculously large kitchen and dining room area and a small living room. Daft if you ask me. The floors take an age to mop. This isn't helped by the fact that the flooring is that industrial rubber stuff that marks like billy-o. You have to soak it, scrub it, rinse it and repeat. I'm sweating like a cart horse now (delicious visual there for you). Why I felt the need to do it on the hottest morning of the year is anybody's guess.

The weekend was a pretty groovy one here. Hub and I popped to town on Saturday and I had an eye test. We did some work in the afternoon and chilled out in the evening. Yesterday we had a big walk around the car boot sale. We went to the huge one that takes place in a field and takes about an hour to walk round. The weather was glorious and the smell of freshly cut grass most uplifting. I got a nice book of watercolour paper for 50p.

We ventured to B&Q, internally avoiding the cliché we've become of Sunday morning middle aged potterers. I don't think we'd even be classed as middle aged really, but we certainly walk the walk. The optician had strongly recommended that I illuminate my work area as much as humanly possible, so we were in search of desk lamps. I got three and a gigantic plug extension so I'll actually be sure to use them. If I have to unplug a lamp to use my printer, for example, that there lamp is unlikely to ever be plugged in again. I hate crawling under my desk doing all that gubbins.

The new lighting arrangement had a good test drive in the afternoon. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself. I must look like the Wizard of Oz or a space ship captain here at my desk with what can only be described as a bank of floodlights surrounding me. How long before the police come knocking on the door in search of the marijuana farm that must surely be on the go here? My living room can probably be seen from orbit now. Still, it does help a bit. I'm getting double vision when doing really close up stuff, but it's up to me to stop pressing my nose against the page I guess. I was advised against having reading glasses just yet, as apparently it makes your eye muscles lazy and you'll not be able to read or whatever without them within a few weeks. Since I already wear glasses for short sightedness I think I'd be extremely irritated at having to swap from one pair to the other all the time, so I'm happy to go along with his recommendation. One day when I can afford some swish varifocals I'll go for it, but that'll probably be when I'm about 105.

A delicious dinner of chicken and salad went down well and then we took ourselves to the cinema. We'd really fancied seeing The Bridesmaids after catching a few trailers and hub hamming up on the movie reviews (one of his major obsessions). Cor, what a let down. It had been billed as the female version of The Hangover, which we loved. It was nothing of the sort. Yes, there were some funny bits, but on the whole it was naught but a dire and badly paced chic flick. Now I may be a chick, but I am not a fan of that genre at all. The main character was unpleasant and stupid and the storyline a slow painful, boring durge. By the time we wer 20 minutes in I was acutely embarrassed to be sitting there. Poor hub was chewing his own knuckles off in horror. If we hadn't been hemmed in by other viewers between us and the end of the row we'd have walked out. However, we're still terribly British and don't like to cause a fuss, so we remained and suffered. Deeply gutting, especially when we would have probably enjoyed pretty much any other movie that was showing at the same time.

This floor still isn't dry. Testament to the humidity and all round sticky unpleasantness that's going on today. I really don't get how anyone can enjoy this weather. I guess my eastern European ancestry is to blame for my hatred of anything above a tepid climate. My sis has the right idea being up there in Scotland; they're not experiencing anything as volcanic as we at the moment and she'll no doubt be thankful for it. One day we'll move there too. Oh yes.

Three paintings to finish this afternoon. I'm also going to do a whole load more book covers and see if I can get them to dry without flies sticking to them. The little blighters are running amock here because I've got all the windows open. I'm definitely off to the shops later for a can of Flit or whatever they have these days for the murdering of insects. I chased one round with a rolled up newspaper yesterday for a good half hour before pummelling it on the skirting board. It's like they know they're going to die but they want one last belly laugh at me thundering about and cursing. At least the expire with a smile on their face, which is all we can aspire to really.

And now, a nice cup of tea. I deserve it.

Today's Fruits

Just a quick post with some photos of the books I made today.

The first is made from my drawings, hand done then coated in plastic for durability. I'm ever so pleased with it and I'll definitely be exploring this further with other drawings.

The second one is made from Penguin Classics giftwrap, like the one I did last weekend only much bigger.

Both are A5 size with 180 pages, so pretty chunky.

Finally

A little middle fo the day blog for a change.

It is with much joy that I can announce a hugely improved mindset. This week has been one of my craziest ever. I blame it on writing that blog the other week about mental illness and creativity. It's been lying in wait for me ever since, I swear.

Yesterday I felt beastly. My brain was running round in ever decreasing circles and I really didn't know what to do with myself. Fortunately by mid afternoon I'd managed to lock concentration on some work and it eased me a bit. A few hours of losing myself in things helped to bring back some normalcy. I don't know whether this is hormonal, though I expect it plays a part. I've got some nasty pre menopausal symptoms going on at times and I've been to my GP about it. All they can do at this stage is offer me anti depressants, but that's really not an avenue I'm prepared to go down. I've done it before, don't get me wrong; I had a good few years of taking various pills and they helped a lot, but they also take the edge off all the good stuff, including imagination and creativity. I don't want to live a half doped life like a bubble on a string. I'd say "oh it's worth putting up with the occasional crisis", but right now it's all a bit too raw and I couldn't say that with any conviction. I've just got to get through this and move on.

I've thrown myself into some new bookbinding. My attitude is blasé and experimental, so goodness knows what will happen. At least one of them is looking very good, and I hope to get it all sewn up today. It's a bit of a giant one, relatively speaking, but it's going to be splendid. I will definitely want to keep it for myself, so I'll have that particular internal argument at a later date. I have loads of hard covers hanging round the dining room in various states of PVA wetness and there are more in the book press being squashed nicely.

Right, I think it's time to get on. My cup of tea is finished and I've tidied my desk and the rest of the room a bit, so I can make more mess without guilt or thirstiness.

Some Days I Even Annoy Myself

Not the first clue what I'm going to be doing today. It's been a flakey week and I'm incubating a bursting inspiration for some acrylic painting. The very thought of the mess I'll make is scaring the living crap out of me though. I'm kind of torn between that and some bookbinding. I could use the slow, methodical and theraputic process of assembly and sewing to lull me a bit if I'm honest. Or just maybe, I need a total break.

Had a good chat with my sister last night and she's suggested a trip to see her. I'd undoubtedly enjoy a visit to Scotland and a bit of R & R with her. Maybe I can get a cheap ticket sometime soon.

I also spoke to the owner of the print shop in town who's advertising for a designer. He was rather a personable chap, given to discussion of technical skills and his willingness to train wherever needed. He reckons that with my Photoshop experience I'd pick up all the other bits and pieces fairly easily. They're at the chatting and requesting CV stage right now and he asked me to send mine in, which is a great start. At least he's hands on with recruitment and not a faceless harvester of applications that will never be proven to have been read. We've all been there, eh?

If nothing comes of this, at least I think I've found a place that can do digital copies of my work when needed. I look forward to discovering the ins and outs of that in due course.

I think I'm feeling a little brighter today. At least I'm not sitting here in tears, which is encouraging. Things do have to change, but I'm not of the calibre to be able to view the overall picture a lot of the time. People like me need worldy wise mentors to take all that stuff on. Once again I wish John were around with his advice and sage nodding. All I can do is the crazy artist shit and remain locked away in my own little world. It's no wonder we never get anywhere while we're actually alive - it takes people a good while to forget our loony ways and come to appreciate what we do without the offense caused by our rantings.

And to bring us back down to earth, I really need to go to the shops this morning. There's no bread or milk and precious little else in the house foodwise. I'm waiting until the school rush dies down because I loathe the queues and gaggles of women nattering outside. I've been up for hours already and got washing done, so the day's at least a mildly productive one on a practical level. It's just a pity it's so grim out there. The rain was so loud in the night that it woke me up. I'd have got up to have a look at it but I was too tired.

Hub's having a rough week at work. We had a few cross words last night, not like us at all. Only a brief thing of course, mainly because of the noise levels going on while I was trying to explain my grief to my sis on the phone. I'm a bit deaf and I hate wearing my hearing aids, so I know I'm a pain at times. I have problems with background noise when I'm trying to listen, which can make me a bit aggravated and snappy. Constant tinnitus can really wear a person down, and though I do manage to zone it out a lot of the time, it can frustrate me to distraction. Fortunately my hub is great with being able to sleep in noise and on those evenings when I'm distressed with it he'll happily let me have a CD on in bed to blank it out enough for me to get to sleep.

Right, it's 9.30 now. I reckon I can brave the shops.

Altered post

More lilies. It's very satisfying to have something and draw it over and over again. I don't know why this is. Maybe it's just me?

Edited, because some stuff is best kept in my head. Thanks to all who replied, your ecouragement and well wishes are hugely appreciated.

Regrouping and goodness knows what else in progress now.

Grumpy Monday

Those people who give the weather forecast ought to all be sacked. yes, I know it's one of my pet peeves and I'll have a rant about it on a fairly regular basis, but come on. They get paid massive amounts to be on telly, wearing hideous outfits (why why why do they always look dreadful?) and spouting nonesense, lies and gibberish. Lately they've begun describing the weather in terms of being "quiet". What the hell? How does "quiet" refer in any way to the climate?

Is there actually any science whatsoever behind what we're told the weather is going to be each day? This morning for example, they cried tales of woe about heavy rain and possible thunder from lunchtime onward. The whole of the northwest had cloud and doom predicted. I've just been to the post office and took a jacket, but jumping jehosephat, it was BOILING and not a drop of water to be seen anywhere. Scores of children were buying ice pops and, unfortunately for me, many women were sitting on doorsteps wearing next to nothing in order to frazzle themselves and top up their orangeness (shudder).

And breathe.

What did I come here for? Oh yes. I did this little drawing today of one of the lilies Jay's dad cut for me.

OMG, so happy!

I've simply got to share my squee and delight today at my amazing, awesome and all round super excellent book press! My father in law presented it to me this morning when we visited for Fathers' Day.

I had no idea it was finished and equally no clue of what it was going to be like. My only stipulation was that it would press (squash stuff) and I didn't mind at all how it looked. Imagine my astonishment when I saw this elegant piece of work. It's just divine and will do the job perfectly.

It has four wingnuts so I can tighten it up with my feeble hands and even has little non slip feet on the bottom! He's done so well with it. I wouldn't have been able to come up with such a simple and perfect design in a million years. Book press design has made it to the 21st century and I'm over the moon to be the only owner of such a thing.

As if all that wasn't enough excitement, he also went and cut a bunch of lilies from the garden for me to bring home and paint. I feel so spoiled today.

The kids are all coming over shortly to torment, erm I mean celebrate with hubby. I'm just about to make a roast dinner of giant proportions for everybody. There'll be my super special gravy and yorkshire puddings too, so they'll all be groaning and unable to move by the time I'm done feeding them. It doesn't matter who you are, your mum's roast dinner is always the best meal in the world :-)

New Book Today!

Despite my idle tendencies this morning I did go ahead and make a book. Photos here because it will be off to its new home shortly. Good old Penguin Classics wrapping paper combined with all the usual bookbinding gubbins.

Pottering about

It's a bit of a chance this. My internet's been cutting off all morning, so who knows if I'll get to post a blog? This my dear people, is living on the edge.

My adorable geek toddled off this morning with his friend to their all day gamingfest sales thingy. I've had a few texts as to how stinky the people are (why don't a lot of geeks wash?) and how he hasn't bought anythng yet but has sold some of his stuff. We might even be quids in by the end of this, if nothing takes his fancy. Perhpas we'll even be able to afford some squid for tea (my latest obsession and definitely not doing anything good for my nutritional intake).

So, what have I been doing? Well, I've had a shower and done my hair nice. Lately I just wash it and leave it, and it has to be said that I don't have the sort of locks that do well under those circumstances. You've seen Russell Brand? Well it's a bit like that, only I don't wear it with his panache and irony. I just look like an inmate somewhere dark and unpleasant where they sedate you daily. Mmmmm sedation.

With it being Fathers' Day tomorrow I've been slaving over a very nice card for Jay's dad. It's so tricky making cards for men, but he's got lots of hobbies so I can find ideas that relate. It was a choice this time between a Terry pratchett character or a guitar. This is how it turned out. I made an envelope this time too, which I'm ashamed to admit I don't always other with.

Speaking of Terry Pratchett, I watched the documentary that was on this week about euthenasia at the Dignitas Clinic. A dreadfully difficult thing to view, but as excellent and thought provoking as it is harrowing. Sir Terry is a brave man indeed to experience and catalogue these events, especially considering that it's one of his possible choices. Also a fascinating insight into him as a person, and I must say he comes out of it well. I recommend it to anyone who has the courage to watch.

I'm itching to make a book. I have some wrapping paper here that will make the best cover. It was from Lynn and she'd love a little present of it, so I may venture in that direction shortly. I'm just not sure i have the stamina today to complete it and I hate leaving a project before it's done. We shall see.

Mostly though, I'm really looking forward to my beloved's return. I miss him during the week and I'm not used to being apart from him at weekend. Hopefully he'll be home soon.

A bit of a news update

Would you just look at the time? Who in their right mind blogs after 10pm? Surely this is the domain of rock stars and the like? And to begin with four questions in one paragraph must be a record of some sort (not to mention a grammatical minefield of wrongness)?

Aaaanyyyyway.

I haven't been insanely busy or anything. I could have written something earlier but I was way too busy kicking back on the couch with a bar of chocolate and a multipack of crisps. The dieting isn't going so well.

Zumba was mentioned briefly at the beginning of the week. I've not gone into detail because I've been slowly mulling it over ever since. For anyone who missed it, my friend Lynn and I attended a local class as a starter for our get fit aprés 40 thing. It seemed a great idea, all that fun and frollicking, booty shaking and dancing. Only we hadn't thought it through, had we? Lynn has arthritis and has been plagued with painful hips ever since. I've been OK, amazingly, but I really didn't enjoy the nauseating women who ran the class, or my own personal lack of co-ordination that meant I simply couldn't follow what was going on and thrashed around like an electrocuted squid. It wasn't pretty. Then theres the fact that I'm a recluse and hate groups of people. Oh and I can't dance, nor do I enjoy latin music. I'm an intelligent woman. How come my brain decided to part company while the attending zumba class decision was being made? Blimey.

So Lynn and I made a date a few days after the class in order to discuss our feelings on the matter. A sort of debriefing if you like. We'd been undecided on the night itself, mainly due to spending the hour afterwards trying to catch our breath and stop sweating. I was also freaked out at falling over my own feet and almost plummetting to the ground amidst an array of splintered bones. It's only a matter of time before a zumba related death occurs, you mark my words.

Lynn can't do it again due to the pain she's in. I won't do it again because it was horrid. We've mutually decided that the whole thing is all rather undignified and therefore not to be spoken of again. So the search is now on for some sort of exercise that is both enjoyable and doesn't make me look like a freakshow special. I'd prefer something that doesn't involve moving too much - and before anyone starts calling me on that and laughing - there's stuff like rowing machines and exercise bikes that are much more demure than falling over your own feet at a dance class. Only I can't afford a gym membership. Thinking caps on!

I shall try and work tomorrow, despite it being Saturday. My darling husband is going geeking (that's all we need to know, explanations would be long-winded and pointless) so I have several hours to fill. It may also assuage my guilt for doing bugger all today apart from a few more crochet flowers, which are hardly a gigantic undertaking.

And so off to bed. I'm thinking of the days when I used to stay up 'til 2am and still function the next day at work or uni or college or whatever. I'd often be hung over too. Nowadays I don't drink and I'm almost always in bed well before 10pm. When does this happen to a person? I blame my last job where I became quite obsessive about not being tired during the day, as I would lose concentration and be unable to do a tap. It really didn't help that I was sat on my ever growing posterior being bored silly for 8 hours a day. You show me any human being who can thrive in that sort of environment and I'll show you an air-headed moron with nothing between the ears but a bit of fluff and a half chewed jelly baby. Creature of habit me, even with my sleeping pattern.