Firstly, I want to say thank you for all the messages of support during my loopy times just now. I was considering deleting that last post, but I decided not to (for now at least), because just maybe someone else is travelling the same road and it can be good to know you're not alone.
I've reached the sleepy stage now. This means the medication is starting to grab me. They do say it takes at least a fortnight to start making a difference, and that's exactly where I'm at with it. Sleeping in the daytime vexes me because I simply don't do that, but I'm trying to get over myself (ha!) and allow it to happen.
Yesterday I put in a full six hours of kip in the daytime, after a whole night's sleep, then had no trouble whatsoever snoozing all night. For someone who frequently suffers with insomnia this is a tremendous shock. I can't say it's unpleasant though, being able to relax so much that I nod off. Quite a welcome change in a lot of ways really.
Before all this happened I was out taking photographs. It's not always practical to draw from the source (my preferred way), so I wanted to gather some images to inspire work over the next few months. As it happens, I'm really glad I did this.
I have peacocks.
This is a tiny selection of course. I have gazillions, all just waiting for me to work some magic, hopefully quite soon.
Hub has also asked me to do a few projects for him and his gaming (long explanation avoided here, you should thank me for that). We agree that I need a list of small jobs to work my way through, no pressure on timing, but a way of focussing my mind when needed.
I'm pretty good at keeping up my own work, to the point of obsession most of the time. I really ought to do stuff for my beloved as well though, while he's spending so much time and effort doing all the things around here.
Yesterday, as well as doing my doormouse impersonation, I did manage something else. After dinner we decided to go for a little drive.
I'm not seeing the outdoors too much at the moment, not that I care, but an exercise in blowing the cobwebs away seemed like a good idea.
We went to the river and sat outside a pub for half an hour. Imagine our amazement when a troupe of the most peculiar looking morris dancers appeared and started doing their thing! I couldn't help but chuckle, and despite myself I actually rather enjoyed it. They were a bit rubbish and kept tripping over each other, which only added to the hilarity. As far as impomptu loveliness goes, we had a splendid evening. It felt normal and sweet and almost romantic to be sharing those giggles, giving us a surprise break from the seriousness that's enveloped us of late. I could see the relief and relaxation on my hub's face, a wonderful feeling after all he's going through.
Twice now this week I've watched my beloved with the old look in his eyes and heard him say he's seen a glimpse of his wifey again. This spurs me on to keep fighting. Last time I was ill like this I didn't have anybody and it was so much darker for me. He doesn't read this blog, but one day he might have a nosey and I will want him to know just how great a part he's playing here. I do try to tell him, but he just says it's what he does and what he'll always do for me. Have I mentioned what a hero he is? I think so, but it's so very true.