Friday, 24 June 2011

Finally

A little middle fo the day blog for a change.

It is with much joy that I can announce a hugely improved mindset. This week has been one of my craziest ever. I blame it on writing that blog the other week about mental illness and creativity. It's been lying in wait for me ever since, I swear.

Yesterday I felt beastly. My brain was running round in ever decreasing circles and I really didn't know what to do with myself. Fortunately by mid afternoon I'd managed to lock concentration on some work and it eased me a bit. A few hours of losing myself in things helped to bring back some normalcy. I don't know whether this is hormonal, though I expect it plays a part. I've got some nasty pre menopausal symptoms going on at times and I've been to my GP about it. All they can do at this stage is offer me anti depressants, but that's really not an avenue I'm prepared to go down. I've done it before, don't get me wrong; I had a good few years of taking various pills and they helped a lot, but they also take the edge off all the good stuff, including imagination and creativity. I don't want to live a half doped life like a bubble on a string. I'd say "oh it's worth putting up with the occasional crisis", but right now it's all a bit too raw and I couldn't say that with any conviction. I've just got to get through this and move on.

I've thrown myself into some new bookbinding. My attitude is blasé and experimental, so goodness knows what will happen. At least one of them is looking very good, and I hope to get it all sewn up today. It's a bit of a giant one, relatively speaking, but it's going to be splendid. I will definitely want to keep it for myself, so I'll have that particular internal argument at a later date. I have loads of hard covers hanging round the dining room in various states of PVA wetness and there are more in the book press being squashed nicely.

Right, I think it's time to get on. My cup of tea is finished and I've tidied my desk and the rest of the room a bit, so I can make more mess without guilt or thirstiness.

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad you are feeling a bit more focused and I hope the book binding is going well.
    I read your post about creativity and mental health with great interest. I was stuck in a very dark place a few years ago and mentioned to a friend in passing that I'd love to make and sell my own jewellery but I'd never be able to do it, next thing I knew he had sent me some beads and a jewellery making book.. I've not looked back. I still have time where I'm a bit wobbly but when I throw myself into making something its like everything else disappears if that makes sense!
    Take care,

    LH
    x

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